birdsong mornings
drop leaden at my feet
as your boots
summon up the shape of you,
your indifferent absence
circling around synthetic
tokens, you are the flicker
in my stygian mind-light,
laying curled fingers
upon my sleeping cheek
before you cleave me
Emma
beautiful melancholy piece Emma.
thanks Christi
I agree with Christi… this is beautiful… love the ending.
Emma, won’t you join us for some fun?
http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/2012/01/word-with-laurie-nonsense.html
Thank you, Laurie. I will stop by sometime soon, sounds like fun.
Emma, this really is lovely. The moods of, well, melancholy, are so beautiful and tender.
Thank you, David. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Wow, Em, you really skip past all that extra stuff and stab your way right into the heart of it–the guts. And you don’t waste any time (space) and yet you keep this ever so subtle total self-awareness and curiosity. A true poet. This is beautiful. The last stanza hit me to the core, yet you accomplished that as well with your first stanza–the juxtapositions are incredible; and then in the middle: “summon up the/ shape of you,/ your indifferent/ absence/ circling around/ synthetic/ tokens…” Frickin’ incredible. It’s like you’re inside my head.
What a wonderful reply, Amy. I love that this was able to speak to you in such a way. Thank you so much for your kind words. I just can’t seem to move away from that self-awareness you speak of, it colors everything I do whether I realize it or not. Love that you can relate to this too.
Em that last line is a real kicker. Lulling the reader into a false sense of almost dreaminess with beautiful poetry… before you cleave me. You are such a gem of a writer.
Thanks Luke, what a nice thing to say. Thanks for reading.
I read this a few times through… To me I felt it was a ghost of a love … someone your long for… greeting at mornings dawn…feeling the comfort and peace of him… then he just leaves…cuts your heart to leave your with the grief to start your day…
(just my crazy thoughts)
Great poem!!! Loved, loved, loved it!
~L
Hey L, I think your interpretation is quite nice and certainly fits the words very well. I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment…always nice to meet other writers
I haven’t seen this one before Em. It is a stunner…brilliant play on c/leave me. Beautifully managed.. in fact I think that is one of your strengths..the building of a mood and the evocation of difficult emotions.. and always some surprise and suddenness in your language choices.
Cleave does all this. Superb.
I’m not sure you knew how much I needed to hear this at the moment, Becky, but I truly appreciate all that you say. I’ve been in a slump and just yesterday was battling with questions about why I’m even writing; if I should even continue. So, thank you for your kind words, they mean alot coming from you.
Believe me, Emma, you have a real taent for poetry. Yes, write on.. please!
I do know what you mean though.. so strange singing in the dark. Most writers feel like that at some point, I think… and wonder what the purpose might be. I only know that when I write I seem to be using so many parts of myself and that in itself has value. Hope you also experience that intrinsic crackle… and feel the lifting of the slump.
Thanks for the encouragement, Becky. I know I won’t quit because I do love it, it’s just frustrating when you can’t get a hold of those kernals. Intrinsic crackle…I do hope I experience that
This poem is done. It is as good as anything you would find on my page, it resonates so strongly, with me -i want to put it in my collection. Bookmark, rather than an actual comment -but I will get wordy on this. Excellent poem Emma, and as Becky says c/leave is wonderful. Good eyes Becky
Thanks, Daniel. I’m glad to hear this resonates with you. It’s one that I’ve been happy with since writing and have often tried to get back to this place in my mind when writing, but it’s always difficult to access those feelings again. Great to hear your thoughts.